I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
