I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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