I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she looked like the before picture.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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