At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
