The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
