girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
