Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
