RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
