Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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