the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
