I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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