Where is the hickey?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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