The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
