love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
