I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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