Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
