Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
