pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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