You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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