"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
