My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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