Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize