He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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