if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
