You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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