just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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