It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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