I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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