The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
