I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
