Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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