Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
