well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
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We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes