i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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