Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
