All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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