We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
