My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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