Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
