Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize