He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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