I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize