Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Screwed.edu
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
