return my video game
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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