I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
