cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
