Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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