i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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