:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
