Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Of course I have a pirate flag
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
