We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
