Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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