i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
