just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
