Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
