Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize