i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
