so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
