Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So squirting runs in the family.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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