When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sober January is a disaster.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
