..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we should paint friendship bongs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
