She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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