I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
