You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
