Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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