thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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